There are so many things said about adoption and about birth moms and adoptive couples that are said usually totally innocently but can cause so much pain and hurt to those that have experienced adoption. I came across a blog that had a post called How to irratate a birth mother and I thought I would share it. It doesn't only irratate a birth mother though, it also irratates the adoptive couple that have the deepest love and respect for these amazing woman and the love they have for their child.
We are grateful for so many reasons for the miracle of adoption. We are grateful that Mindy has wanted to keep in touch with us and that Madi will know her. Mindy loves and adores Madi and although many people question our openness, I know that it is best for our family. Studies have shown that it doesn't confuse a child or make things more complicated. It just gives that child one more person that loves them so very much.
So, before you make a comment to someone that is a birth mom, adoptive couple or even an adopted child, consider the way you ask the question. Consider the tone you use. Consider the feelings that may be evoked by asking such a question. Educate yourself on adoption. Most of the things people know about adoption is false. It's different then it was ten or twenty years ago. It's a wonderful thing, not a negative one.
I want the world to know that I love Madison so very much. I couldn't love her more if I had carried her for the nine months myself. Something that I get that a "normal" mom doesn't... to kneel at the altar in the temple and have the sweetest little angel be brought into the room and have her sealed to Derrick and I for all eternity. I guess that is the trade off that Heavenly Father gives adoptive moms instead of birth and it is TOTALLY worth it! I get to share a connection with an incredible woman for the rest of my life. I get to teach Madi that Mindy loved her so much that she wanted to give her the world and that she knew that wasn't possible on her own so she asked us to do it for her. I get to KNOW that Heavenly Father sent her to our family very much on purpose and that we were not brought together by chance. I get teach her and love her and watch her grow because Mindy loved her THAT MUCH! Thank you Mindy! We love you!